Do I Make Myself Clear?

As leaders, your clients have a strong vision and purpose, but they may often fall short in communicating their expectations to others.

• Have they ever wondered why an employee didn't do exactly what they wanted?
• Are they ever frustrated that their directives are not completed the way they want and on time?

Relationships Aren't for Everybody
By William Weil
(Portions of this article, are from the book New Earth Relationships - A Guide for Couples in the 21st Century © William Weil; All rights reserved)

I once heard Werner Erhard, the personal transformation guru of the 70's and 80's, say something like "relationships are like mountain climbing - they're not for most people." That floored me. How can relationships not be for everybody, or at least "most people?" My ex-wife and I were convinced we had an awesome-a forever-relationship. We wrote beautiful, deeply moving marriage vows and had a fabulous ceremony with hundreds of family members and friends present, all telling us what a wonderful couple we made.

We did have a wonderful relationship, and we knew it. What we didn't know is that even the best relationships are full of potholes and landmines.

We thought that since our relationship started out great, we had the "magic." Things would automatically stay great. Boy, were we wrong! We made the same mistake that countless other couples who start out with fabulous relationships make, and our relationship was tragically derailed in the first year. After 11 difficult years of trying to make it work, we divorced.

Perhaps you've been with the same person for a relatively short time. Perhaps things are great. Add some more years, kids, a mortgage, some pressures with your job, etc., temptations from other, more attractive people, and see where you are then. I'm not saying that yours isn't the best relationship in the world. I'm just asking if you think you are immune to the realities that impact every couple around you. The fact is that if you think you have a better than one-in-ten shot, you are probably kidding yourself.

People in fresh, young relationships tend to be unrealistic at best, arrogant at worst. What are the odds that their level of happiness will last? Ten percent? Five percent? One in a hundred? With the divorce rate at 50% in the US, the odds just aren't good. And remember that the 50% who stay together aren't necessarily passionately, ecstatically in love. We all know people who stay together in dysfunctional, abusive, or dependent cycles and others who think any marriage is better than being alone. A small percentage of couples who stay together are in deeply loving and passionate marriages.

It's common for people who have been in a happy relationship for less than a year or two to think they have it figured out. Typically they do not. Instead of watering the tree that is their relationship, they are picking the fruit. The tragedy is that at the very time when they might be developing skills to help them keep love and passion alive for the long haul, young couples are unconscious to what is, and is not, working. When the love finally dies, they figure it was either a) inevitable, b) the other person's fault, c) that they just grew apart, or some other explanation. What they are left with is an explanation of why it did not work out. This will not serve them at all in their next relationship(s).

If you are happy now, now is the time to build the skills and tools for a long-term, loving, passionate, mutually-fulfilling relationship. If you are less than happy, then now is the time to begin to repair things.

Falling in love is one thing. To stay in love for the long haul you have to learn how to constantly and consciously "create" your love for one another. Sure it's easy when you are first in love, but when that wears off, when the little things start to become big things, when you least expect it, that's when you need a powerful habit of excellent communication to get things back on track.

Do you think executive coaching is just for business executives? As owner of Avanti Strategies, Dr. Janice Sabatine brings executive coaching to women in science and medicine because she believes they deserve the same support that corporate executives have enjoyed for years-the benefit of an executive coach.

As a woman in science or medicine, are you spread too thin? Would you like to negotiate the salary you deserve? Would you like to be better equipped to handle conflict? Would you like to be offered leadership positions and get the promotions you deserve? Janice uses the highly acclaimed Sherpa Coaching process to help her clients make positive changes in their behavior that accelerate their career development and advancement.

With over 20 years experience in biomedical research, Janice is uniquely positioned to help her clients. She earned a BS in chemistry from the University of Notre Dame and a PhD in biochemistry from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. As a director of publications for several biomedical research programs and as an independent publications consultant, she has been influential in the publication of over 40 journal articles and book chapters and nearly 30 funded grant applications. Recognizing that her clients could benefit from coaching in addition to help with publications, Janice became a certified life coach in 2005. Since then, she has become a Certified Sherpa Executive Coach through Penn State University's Smeal College of Business.

Janice continues to use her coaching and teaching skills as a guest lecturer for the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Public Health, an adjunct associate professor at Carnegie Mellon University and Rocky Mountain University of the Health Professions, and as a workshop leader for the American Medical Writers Association. She provides pro bono coaching for Life's Headwaters and the Pittsburgh Latino Project, is a member of the International Coach Federation, and serves on the Board of Directors of the Pittsburgh Coaches Association.

Are you aware that the National Institutes of Health, the National Science Foundation, and numerous universities and medical schools nationwide have identified the need for improved strategies to attract and retain women in science, medicine, and engineering? And that executive coaching is becoming recognized as a highly effective strategy to address this issue?

So why be left behind?

Janice can be reached at sabatine@avantistrategies.com. Her website is: www.avantistrategies.com.

Discover the Enneagram - Discover You

By Jacqueline Dunkle

We live our life, day in - day out, and may never really understand ourselves, or even care to understand ourselves. But understanding ourselves is the basis for how we actually live our life! And understanding that we are much more than our personality is priceless.

The Enneagram is an ancient symbol of transformation and understanding; a map if you will, that illustrates the human condition with penetrating simplicity and accuracy. This symbol consists of a circle containing a nine-pointed star. When the symbol of the Enneagram is likened to the Face of God, each point on the star represents a Divine Essence with an inherent Gift and when all Gifts are truly present, the Face of God is at hand.
Along with this Divine Essence - a personality blueprint begins to develop and each of us uses one of these blueprints to maneuver through life. Once we identify the particular blueprint we use, we can also begin to tenderly identify the "traps" that accompany it. We learn to recognize the thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve us. And we start to acknowledge the true Gift in our lives and experience the freedom of choice at a much deeper level, allowing us to live our life, day in - day out, with much more consciousness and presence; Presence of Peace, Serenity, Love, Authenticity, Equanimity, Wisdom, Courage, Joyfulness, and Strength. All of these are inherent Gifts of Divine Essence that correlate to the Nine Personalities depicted on the Enneagram above.

• So... what is your Divine Essence?
• How does it serve you and what gift does it bring to others?
• When out-of-sync, how does it bring you or others distress?
• Are you ready to begin the journey to discovering Your Essence?

We invite experienced coaches, as well as those new to the profession, to join the Pittsburgh Coaches Association (PCA). This is an exciting time to be a member! We are a 501(c)6 professional organization, and an International Coach Federation (ICF) chapter.

Additional benefits for member coaches include networking opportunities with other professional coaches, a profile on PCA's 'Find a Coach' website directory, discounts for monthly luncheon meetings featuring interesting and relevant speakers, a forum to offer teleclasses on coaching-related topics of your choice, and special events to raise the profile of coaching within the community. There are many more benefits; please don't hesitate to become a part of one of Pittsburgh's best professional associations.

You can now register to become a member online at www.pittsburghcoaches.org. Join today.

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