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New Year’s Reflections

Jan 4th, 2013
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
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by Sharon Eakes

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning
but a going on, with all the wisdom that
experience can instill in us.
Hal Borland


THOUGHTS

As an alternative to New Year’s Resolutions, I suggest three simple questions to close out one year and welcome in another.

  1. What did you learn in 2012 that you want to remember?
  2. What are your highest hopes for 2013?
  3. What do you love about your current life?

WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

What you learned and want to remember might include just about anything – something you really understood for the first time, a feeling of love you experienced, a truth you discovered by accident, the way you resolved a situation, or any of a million other things. Here are a few of mine for this year:

  • Stay away from sugar and I don’t crave it.
  • Cheapest plane reservations can be made Tuesday afternoons at 3 pm (thanks NPR.)
  • I have more energy for the day when I exercise first thing.
  • I’m happier when I focus less on myself and more on others
  • The love and support of family and friends is priceless – I want to be there for others
  • Life is memorable at unexpected moments: hiking in the Dolly Sods wilderness with Stephanie, Lisa tattooing my bald head, dancing with 2 year-old Fianna! Reminds me to stay wide awake!

WHAT ARE YOUR HIGHEST HOPES?

I like to talk about hopes instead of goals because they tend to pull instead of push you. If the hope is strong enough, a plan seems to form itself and take you there. It helps if you can really envision how things will look and feel when this hope comes to fruition. A couple of mine:

  • Vibrant health, including increased stamina
  • Hiking again in the wilderness
  • Teaching and coaching opportunities to spread peace and love
  • Thick, curly hair

My friend Donna likes to name the upcoming year. The name she’s given 2013 is If not now, when?  I’ve named my year Let there be peace. For me this brings up images of peace inside my body, peace in the world, and my bringing peace into other people’s lives.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR CURRENT LIFE?

I’m convinced that the answer to this question is the key to happiness. When all of what we love is either past or future, it leaves an empty present. Not everything is wonderful in anyone’s life, but if we get in the habit of noticing what IS wonderful, it has a tendency to grow. For me the list is long, and includes:

  1. A snow covered train speeding through the all-white landscape
  2. My work
  3. My cat Bonkers
  4. My loving relationships with so many people
  5. The cozy feel of my house

COACHING SUGGESTION

Take the time to reflect on and answer these three questions, and name 2013 for yourself. It is a great way to say goodbye to one year and step confidently into the next. I hope that your 2013 is your best year yet!

Sharon Eakes (www.hopellc.com) is an executive coach who works with people who want to make a difference, contributing their talents to make the world a better place.  Sharon also teaches in the Arbinger Choice in Coaching master training program.

 

 

 

 

Posted in: General Coaching, Life.
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Meet the Author at Coaching Works! Bonnie Budzowski, Write Your Book to Build Your Business

Nov 12th, 2012
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
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Ready to take the first step toward writing your own book?  Join us this Wednesday at Coaching Works and meet author Bonnie Budzowski!  Bonnie has coached many professionals through the process of writing a book, helping them enhance their credibility and share their expertise with a wider audience.  Now you can benefit from Bonnie’s wisdom and support through her new workbook, as well.

About Write Your Book to Build Your Business

If you’ve always wanted to write a book or need one to build your business, this step-by-step workbook is for you!  Follow an expert book coach through the process of focusing, planning, and writing your non-fiction book.  Learn the following:

  • A step-by-step approach to move from talking about a book to completing that book
  • Guidelines for planning your divisions, themes, and chapters
  • Secrets to organize and structure material to capture attention
  • The S.C.O.R.E. Method, a proprietary system to write with less stress and more success
  • Keys to fit writing into your busy schedule

This resource is packed full of information, examples, and worksheets that will help you realize your dream of becoming a non-fiction author.

Coaching Works Info. / Registration

Coach, author, and writing expert Bonnie Budzowski works with clients to turn their expertise into business-boosting content, including books, articles, presentations, and social media content.  Bonnie is creator of the S.C.O.R.E Method to Write With Less Stress and More Success, which makes the processes and techniques of professional writers available for any writing project.  Visit www.incrediblemessages.com to learn more.

 

Posted in: Announcements, Coaching Works, Writing.
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7 Lies They Like to Tell About Starting Your Own Business

Nov 5th, 2012
by Tom Volkar.
2 comments

Have a big decision to make that you just aren’t making?  Have you always wanted to be in business for yourself but have hesitated to make your move? Join us at Coaching Works to be guided by Tom Volkar. You could find relief within 15 minutes! Tom is one of our featured demo coaches and he’s looking for you, if you’re ready to be coached on that big scary decision.

What if the only thing stopping you from starting a business that’s right for you are the lies and misinformation about what’s most important to business startup success?

These “liars” are the media, politicians, some employers, government bureaucracies and other fearful naysayers.

While working with corporate employees who want to quit a job and start a business, I’ve uncovered a lot of traditional business startup beliefs that just aren’t true.  New business development slows way down when potential business owners waste time jumping through needless startup hoops.

In this article I’m exposing the seven most frequent lies and offering a question to live with instead.  A lie is simply a conclusion that limits what’s possible to one erroneous point of view.

Living with an open ended question, on the other hand, expands awareness of infinite unseen possibilities.  Which do you prefer – one fixed point of view of dubious truth or an unlimited array of inspiring possibilities?

If you really want business startup movement then do not attempt to let your mind answer these questions. If your mind knew the answers you’d already have what you want.  Instead … ask the question and allow your awareness to gradually expand to include previously unseen possibilities.

Lie # 1. You can’t start until you know what business to start.  This lie paralyzes action and keeps you from doing rich discovery work to identify the right business for you.  Are you unsure of what business to start?  Good.  Everyone starts at a place of uncertainty.  The right business will come forth from within by asking questions to bring it forth.  Don’t just wait to be hit with an epiphany.  They don’t always come.  But know this.  There is a business that is more right for you than any other and you’ll know it when it comes to you because it lines up with your heart’s desires and core capacities.

What would it take to create a business that powerfully aligns with my core makeup?

Lie # 2. The right business to start is the one that has the highest profit potential.  If it was as easy as that we’d all be buying franchises and laughing all the way to the bank.  Sure the unimaginative can work systems like network marketing and franchises.  They may have to if they don’t have original thoughts and care little about being fulfilled in their work.  But most of us won’t be truly happy unless we are enjoying a business that suits us and supports our lifestyle preferences.  For most of us, life is about more than just making money.

What if I could be both wonderfully fulfilled and richly rewarded for operating a business that’s right for me?

Lie # 3. It’s the government’s job to save you. Really, how are they doing so far? We hear politicians of both parties pledging to create new jobs as if our economic well-being is more enhanced by new jobs than by new businesses.  They are so used to feeding at the government trough that they think they can buy our votes by dangling something that many of us don’t even want.  They think we share the same sense of entitlement that they do.  Waiting for the government to save you is futile.  This victim thinking disempowers initiative. The only security that we’re entitled to is the security we create for ourselves.

What energy could I be and what choices could I make that would create the freedom and prosperity I seek?

Lie # 4.  If you have a good job you’re nuts to give it up and start a business in this economy.  Do you fear the possible loss of success, money or security?  It’s understandable if you’re concerned with how this decision might impact your family’s lifestyle and security.  But the quality of your current employment, as well as the current state of the economy, has little to do with your determination and desire to build a successful enterprise.  Those who call you crazy are projecting their own fears on you. Wouldn’t it be truly insane to trust their fears over your desires?

What mindset would allow me to confidently launch my business with the highest probability of success?

Lie # 5. Starting a new business is risky.  Once again our negatively slanted media would rather scare you than inspire you.  According to SBA US Census new business statistics: 75% survive year one, 64% year three, 50% year five and 33% of all new business startups are still operating 10 years later.  Aren’t those odds appreciably better than the employment tenure of many jobholders you know? What’s really riskier, abdicating your well-being and security to the care of an employer who must put the company first or creating your own security through the freedom of self-employment?

What transition requirements would allow me to make my move with confidence, eagerness and celebration? (Transition requirements are non-negotiable, must-have milestones that you agree to meet before quitting your job and going fulltime in your business.)

Lie # 6. Nothing new is ever created or all the good ideas are taken.  This bull has been floating around for some time and I think it must be perpetuated by those who really don’t have many new ideas.  It’s really unexplainable to me and must be broadcasted by the same scarcity-mindset crowd who say all the good men/women are taken.  I’ve been coaching new business owners for over 12 years and most of them have too many original ideas not a lack of them.

What decision-making criteria would allow me to choose a business with the highest probability of success for me?  

Lie # 7. There is a lot to learn before you start your business.  This one is pushed by the academic crowd and those pushing more education.  How many vocationally clueless adults have you heard say, “I’m thinking about going back to school” ? Take it from someone who has been continuously self-employed since 1973.  You learn best by acting, doing and actually building a business.  Necessity is a far greater motivator than scoring well on an exam.  If you doubt that you know what you really need to know, in order to start a business, I’ll bet you haven’t yet begun.  Begin at once; start as soon as you’ve identified the right business for you.  You’ll then learn only what you need to right when you need it.

What will it take for me to get started on the best business for me today, without delay?

Claim your freedom from these lies.  Begin asking these awareness expanding questions today and watch all the new possibilities arise.   When you realize one that feels uplifting – act on it without delay!

Registration & more details about Coaching Works! 2012

Business Start Up Coach, Tom Volkar of CoreU Coaching, guides corporate employees who want to quit a job and start a business.  Tom specializes in helping clients make the big scary decisions that they just aren’t making.  Claim your free podcast, What You Really Need to Know to Quit Your Job & Start A Business.

 

Posted in: Announcements, Business & Entrepreneurship, Coaching Works.
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Meet PCA President and Author Janice Sabatine at Coaching Works!

Nov 3rd, 2012
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
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As President of the Pittsburgh Coaches Association, the premier professional coaches organization serving Southwestern PA, I invite you to attend Coaching Works to experience the power of coaching first hand. See three live coaching demonstrations and take advantage of the opportunity to speak with over 35 experienced coaches representing a wide variety of specialty areas. These professionals can answer your questions and provide brief one-on-one private coaching sessions. Join us to explore all the myriad ways coaching can work for you personally and for your business or organization. Coaching — it just might change your life! Registration and more details about Coaching Works 2012!

I’m happy to be one of the featured authors at this year’s event, as coauthor with Renee Thompson and Debra M. Wolf of Mentoring and Coaching: A Model Guiding Professional Nurses to Executive Success. Although many nurses aspire to executive positions, they lack the knowledge, support, and guidance to handle the challenges. To succeed at the executive level, ongoing deliberate skill development coupled with support is crucial across a nurse’s career trajectory. This article introduces a model emphasizing the importance of mentoring and/or coaching for the aspiring executive nurse leader. Although this model was designed to describe the successful advancement of nurses to an executive level, it is applicable to career development in other professions. Research is currently being designed to validate each phase of the model. This peer reviewed article can be found in the Journal of Nursing Administration 2012;42(11):536-541.

Janice Sabatine, PhD, ACC, CSC is President of Avanti Strategies, LLC, a firm specializing in executive coaching for women in science and medicine. She is a certified executive coach through the Pennsylvania State University Smeal College of Business and earned a BS in chemistry from the University of Notre Dame and a PhD in biochemistry from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. As an executive coach, Janice has helped numerous scientific and healthcare professionals become stronger, more effective leaders and successfully publish and secure funding. She has developed and provides leadership, team building, and writing workshops for numerous academic and scientific associations. She is also a faculty member in the Professional Coach Certification Program in the School of Leadership at Duquesne University and serves as President of the Pittsburgh Coaches Association.


Posted in: Announcements, Coaching Works, Leadership.
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The Secret About Fear

Nov 1st, 2012
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
1 comment

Ready to overcome your fears and achieve peak performance?  Join us at Coaching Works to meet Kelly Eckert! Kelly, a certified life coach who works with visionary artists and transformational leaders, will be one of our three demo coaches at this year’s event. 

Have you ever said that you’re afraid of failure?

I have a little secret for you. Actually, It’s a pretty big secret that most people don’t know and that your fear really doesn’t want you to know.

Fear of failure isn’t your real fear. It’s a smokescreen for your primary fear, the deeper fear that’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Why do I call fear of failure a smokescreen? It’s because your real fear—what I call your primary fear—doesn’t want you to recognize and acknowledge it because, when you do, you can start to release it. So your primary fear tricks you into believing that you’re afraid of something else, such as failure, success, rejection, or even public speaking.

In my Fear Releasing Method, I’ve identified 7 primary fears. We all have one main primary fear that comes into play most often. Most of us have two primary fears. And some of us have three.

So, if fear of failure isn’t a primary fear, then what is? The most prevalent of the 7 primary fears is the fear of not being good enough. Let’s look at how this fear creates the perceived fear of failure. (By the way, not everyone has the fear of not being good enough, and the fear of failure can be a smokescreen for any of the 7 primary fears.)

If the fear of not being good enough is your primary fear, then what scares you about the prospect of failure is that it would “prove” your inadequacy. Fear of not being good enough comes from trying (and failing) to live up to someone else’s expectations in childhood or adolescence. In adulthood, you may often be very active about trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. But the possibility of proving your inadequacy is often more painful than the possibility of not even trying to live up to those expectations. As emotionally painful as it is to fail to meet expectations, it can be even more painful to be too inadequate to do so.

It’s a twisted dance that happens with fear—this one and the other 6 primary fears. But you see now how the prospect of failure is just a smokescreen for an underlying primary fear.

How I really like to look at these smokescreens is as triggers. In fact, I call them trigger fears: fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection. These prospects or expectations trigger the deeper primary fear. When you are aware of your primary fear, this trigger doesn’t have to stop you. It gives you the perfect opportunity to release your fear.

The first step in releasing your fear is to identify your primary fear. That simple act of identifying your true primary fear will go far in allowing you to release the fear. It is the essential first step in my Fear Releasing Method as it puts you back in the driver’s seat.

Identifying your primary fear helps to quiet the inner critic. It allows you to transform limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs. And it enables you to take steps away from the fear, growing personally, professionally and spiritually in the process.

When you feel gripped by fear, pause and ask yourself if it’s the real fear. Follow these simple steps to explore your primary fear.

1. Identify what you think you’re afraid of. For example, “I’m afraid to fail at this presentation.”

2. Ask yourself what it means to fail in this situation. For example, “What does it mean to fail at this presentation? It means I’d mess up and say the wrong thing or leave out vital information.”

3. Ask yourself what would happen if your fear came true. For example, “What would happen if I messed up and said all the wrong things? I’d be really embarrassed.”

4. Go deeper into what that would mean to you. For example, “What would it mean if I were really embarrassed? I wouldn’t want to show my face. I’d want to hide from the audience.”

5. Keep asking yourself, “And what would that mean” until you get to what feels like the primary fear. For example, “What would it mean to hide from the audience? It would mean that they know I’m not good enough.”

When you arrive at your primary fear, you will feel a sense of peace and clarity. Yes, you may still feel the fear. But recognizing it and naming it accurately will lessen some of its hold over you. That simple recognition eliminates a lot of confusion. Suddenly, you no longer wonder, “Why am I so afraid to fail?” when you recognize, “Wow, I’m afraid of proving that I’m not good enough.”

As you pay more attention to your fears and what triggers them, notice how much releasing happens spontaneously. In the other steps of the Fear Releasing Method, you’ll learn how to actively release your fear whenever it starts to sneak up on you. In the meantime, keep noticing and enjoy the spontaneous release.

Coaching Works! 2012 Info./Registration

Performance mindset coach Kelly Eckert bridges the science and soul of personal success to help her clients reach their highest potential, achieve peak performance and bring their deepest vision to life.  Kelly is a certified life coach, speaker, author and creator of the Fear Releasing Method.  She coaches visionary artists and transformational leaders to achieve the success they want without losing themselves or selling their souls.

Posted in: Coaching Works, Life.
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Thinking of Starting a Business? Meet Coach & Author Barbara Schwarck at Coaching Works!

Oct 30th, 2012
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
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This year’s Coaching Works, taking place on November 14th at PNC Park, will feature 3 coaching demos, 1:1 mini coaching sessions in a variety of specialties, expert authors, as well as refreshments in a relaxed and enjoyable environment.  One of these expert authors is Barbara Schwarck, coauthor with William Weil of From Intuition to Entrepreneurship: A Woman’s Guide to Following Her Dream.  Barbara will also be available to discuss emotional intelligence coaching.

About From Intuition to Entrepreneurship: A Woman’s Guide to Following Her Dream

Blending Eastern and Western traditions, this step-by-step workbook supports women (or men) in starting their own business.Within ten days, readers will find themselves well down the path to discovering, then manifesting, their entrepreneurial dreams.

If you are a person with entrepreneurial goals and want to take this life walk on the path to success, this may well be your breakthrough book. Unfolding on these pages is a guide to uncovering an awareness of what you really want and the types of self-imposed roadblocks you have allowed to derail you on your journey.  This book goes deep; it explores the elusive factors which predetermine outcomes by encouraging their readers to participate in an awareness and change method that will increase possibilities, and lead to far greater chances of genuine satisfaction, along with higher levels of success.

Get more info. & register for Coaching Works

Barbara Schwarck, PCC, CEO of Clear Intentions International, has been coaching since she was 12 years old, when she coached her older brother on how to handle his money.  Immigrating to the United States from Germany at the age of 23 with nothing but a backpack to her name she has honed a rare set of skills, enabling her to deliver powerful keynotes to a variety of people interested in clarifying, identifying and achieving goals.  As an executive coach and coauthor of From Intuition to Entrepreneurship: a Woman’s Guide to Following Her Dream, Barbara has the insight to achieve quick and lasting success with a focus on bottom-line results.  And, since success involves the entire person, Barbara has created Neuro Emotional Coaching®, a cutting edge 4-step process rooted in neuroscience that combines executive coaching with knowledge of the human brain and its impact on change and leadership.

Barbara is certified by the Coaches Training Institute and the International Coach Federation (ICF).  She is an active ICF member, a founding member of the International Association of Coaches and past president of the Pittsburgh Coaches Association.  In addition to her doctoral degree in Spiritual Science from the Peace Theological Seminary and College of Philosophy, Barbara holds a master’s degree in Public and International Affairs from the University of Pittsburgh and a master’s degree in Applied Psychology from the University of Santa Monica.

Clear Intentions International is a global executive coaching firm offering Executive Coaching, Leadership Training and Keynotes to professionals, executives and global leaders who want to have a breakthrough in leadership, performance and/or fulfillment.   

 

 

Posted in: Announcements, Business & Entrepreneurship, Coaching Works.
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Meet the Author at Coaching Works! Maria Berdusco, How to Think Like a Leader

Oct 26th, 2012
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
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Maria Berdusco, MS, President of Leadership International and past President of PCA, will be one of our expert authors at this year’s Coaching Works!  Maria will be available to talk about her book, How to Think Like a Leader: A Personal Guide to Change and Discovery, and to share her expertise as an executive coach.  Coaching Works, taking place on November 14th at PNC Park, will also include coaching demonstrations, opportunities for 1:1 coaching in a variety of specialty areas, and refreshments.

How to Think Like a Leader: A Personal Guide to Change and Discovery is full of evidence-based and straightforward ways to explore possibilities and reach a higher personal potential. Don’t miss this highly acclaimed book, with over 100 references, action guides, and the tools for successful outcomes. Your thoughts do matter. If you have ever wondered if better managing your thinking will change your life, then this book is for you. Clarify your thinking to focus on essential skills and habits to capture true optimal living and leading. Learn how to think like a leader, starting now. Filled with ideas, thoughts for practice, questions and exercises supported by the latest research in brain and behavior, this is the guide that will take you to the next level.

Maria Berdusco helps individuals and organizations make the connection between how you think, and what you do. By recognizing this connection, and the influences that determine human behavior, possibilities are created for personal leadership that takes individuals to new levels of understanding and action.

Registration and more info. on Coaching Works! 2012

Maria Berdusco, MS, is President of Leadership International, based in Pittsburgh PA, specializing in training, development and coaching for individuals and organizations. As an executive coach for over 10 years, Maria is committed to helping others to influence positive change, and to build and attain actionable goals.

Maria has held senior level positions in three Fortune 500 science and technology companies and holds degrees in Molecular Biology, Behavioral Psychology and a Master’s degree in Leadership and Business. Maria has also completed graduate studies in cognitive psychology and management at Harvard University, and is a member of the Harvard Institute of Coaching, the NeuroLeadership Institute, and the International Coach Federation Global Leadership Forum. Maria is the immediate past President of the Pittsburgh Coaches Association, dedicated to developing partnerships for strategy, goal setting and sustained outcomes. With a spirit of adventure, Maria has traveled to 50 countries around the globe and is passionate about people and their progress.

 

Posted in: Announcements, Coaching Works, Leadership.
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Tightening the Generation Gaps: Transforming Generational Differences into Opportunities

Oct 23rd, 2012
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
3 comments

We are thrilled to have Donna Billings as one of our featured demo coaches at Coaching Works! 2012.  Donna specializes in coaching women and Boomers in transition; is a past-President of PCA; and was co-founder and original Program Director of the Professional Coach Certification Program at Duquesne University.  Here Donna shares her expertise on working successfully with all generations. 

Generational disconnect is a hot topic. Why? One reason centers on older employees who defer retirement and are working alongside Baby Boomers and younger people who are just getting started in their careers. The result is an amalgam of four distinct generations blending into the workforce.

When we understand the differing values that drive our own and other generations, we have a better chance of respecting those values and working productively together. Below is an overview of the characteristics that distinguish the generations. Following the overview are suggestions for how you can interact productively with all generations in your workplace.

Traditionalists/Veterans

Members of this group, of which I am one, were born between 1925 and 1945. They have been coined the “Greatest Generation.” Survivors of the Great Depression and World War II, traditionalists value logic and discipline as well as jobs that offer a stable environment. Respectful of authority, Traditionalists are characterized by conformity, place a high priority on work, and seek to build career legacies. They “don’t like to rush things” and may even be unsure about and resistant to the most up-to-date technology.

Baby Boomers

Born between 1946 and 1964, the 80 million Boomers are often characterized as the group whose members “live to work.” They value participation and equity and look for jobs that provide personal challenges. As a group, they’re non-authoritarian, optimistic, and willing to learn. Competitive, their work priorities focus on being a star performer and building a stellar career.

Generation X

Gen X, also known as “latch-key kids” were born between 1965 and 1980. They watched their Baby Boomer parents dedicate themselves to work only to be rewarded with layoffs during the 80s recession. As a result, this group is characterized by its “work to live” ethic, which places a high priority on achieving a work/life balance. Highly motivated, Gen Xers prefer work environments where they may provide feedback and where they will not be supervised too closely. They look for a workplace that’s fun and flexible, are technologically savvy, and make it their goal to have a portable career.

Generation Y/Millennials (a.k.a. “Nexters”)

Just entering the workforce, Nexters were reared by young Boomers and older Xers. As a group, they’ve been coined “upcoming optimists” (Not a bad moniker!). Nexters value diversity and morals and look for careers that provide structure. Respectful of traditionalists, Nexters share a can-do attitude and make money a career priority. From a training standpoint, they do well in mentoring programs. Technologically superior to any other generation, Nexters build parallel careers.

These brief descriptions are not meant to confine people to a box based on their birth year. Rather, the descriptions serve as a frame of reference that will help us understand and embrace generational diversity — a move that can have a significant impact on you as a person, on your career, and on a company’s financial success.

When you have a deep understanding of your own values and motivation, it’s easier to begin to move toward understanding other people. If you can pinpoint their motivations and values, you’ll have an easier time working with them. Instead of seeing conflict, you’ll see different work styles shaped by different values. The result is a sense of personal satisfaction, a more enjoyable and productive work environment for everyone and, ultimately, better relationships with each other.

Ready to enjoy working with multiple generations? Think about how different generations are getting along where you work. Consider how well you get along with people who belong to different generations. Make it your goal to be sensitive to different experiences, perspectives, values, and goals. Identify and praise good intergenerational communication in your workplace. Identify and eliminate anything that’s negative.

Here are immediate methods for good career interaction with all generations:

  • Recognize that everyone is different and that your way isn’t the only way.
  • Identify what you value.
  • Listen and discern what other people value.
  • Accommodate people’s values. For example, once you know someone wants to take a more visible role in weekly staff meetings, take action and make it happen.
  • Connect the person to the goal. If your work is to have meaning, it’s important to have a good understanding of how what you do impacts company goals.
  • Lighten up. While we can’t abandon work boundaries, we can introduce an element of fun when it’s appropriate, such as when someone reaches a goal or a team gets results.
  • Reward people! Formal and informal rewards make people feel good about what they’re doing. Don’t be afraid to say, “Thank you!” or “Nice job!” and make sure you mean it.
  • Harness the energy that comes from working with people who have different values and motivations.

Copyright by Donna Billings

Visit Donna at www.donnabillingscoach.com.

Registration and more details on Coaching Works

Donna Billings helps clients to design and implement the next phase of their lives successfully. She helps people move into new leadership roles, transition into new careers, rediscover their core selves during women’s retreats, or shift into meaningful retirement. Donna is a professional certified coach. She is the co-founder and original Program Director of the Professional Coach Certification Program at Duquesne University’s School of Leadership and Professional Advancement, where she also teaches a course called Leadership & Coaching across Generations.

 

 

 

Posted in: Announcements, Career, Coaching Works, Leadership.
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Meet the Author at Coaching Works! Bette Z. Novak, The Art of Career Survival

Oct 19th, 2012
by Pittsburgh Coaches.
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We are happy to feature talented authors at this year’s Coaching Works! event, who will be available to discuss their books and answer questions about coaching in their areas of expertise.  One of these expert authors is Bette Z. Novak, coauthor with Martin W. Novak of The Art of Career Survival:  Never Fear Joblessness Again.  Coaching Works, taking place on November 14th, 4-7, at PNC Park will also include coaching demonstrations, opportunities for 1:1 coaching in a variety of specialty areas, and refreshments.  Register here

Based on practical experience gained through a decade of career group leadership and personal dealings within the job market, The Art of Career Survival is an engaging and accessible companion to your efforts to find the next step in your career. Through a series of entertaining lessons, you’ll learn how to plan and prepare for the job search; develop a resume that actually works for you; enhance your chances through networking; gather inside information through informational interviews; create cover letters that support your resume; anticipate and be prepared for interview questions; analyze job offers using tools to help in your decision; and use the Internet to broaden your efforts. If you have a job, learn how to enhance your ability to keep it while preparing should the worst happen again. When the winds of change blow through your career, you need to protect yourself. You need to learn The Art of Career Survival.

Bette Z. Novak, MEd, MHRM, BCC, is a dynamic professional with 25 plus years of leadership, management, supervision, performance, organizational development, and human resource consulting in both the public and private sectors. She has extensive experience designing and implementing organization-wide leadership, supervision, and professional development programs, including hiring and matching executive coaches to mid level managers and senior executives for career development.  As a career transition and business growth coach, Bette works with business clients to develop, grow, and thrive in any market. She helps the jobless and career changers create strategic job search action plans using proven tools, resources, and strategies. Bette’s coaching empowers clients to work and lead with courage, confidence and clarity.   Registration and more details about about Coaching Works 2012!

 

Posted in: Announcements, Career, Coaching Works.
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Conscious Couples

Sep 19th, 2012
by William Weil.
3 comments

Your relationship is a miracle, or a miracle waiting to happen.

According to spiritual teachers like Eckhart Tolle, ultimately, the future of the world depends on how much we can raise the collective consciousness. We’ll either evolve together or poison our environment and destroy humankind. It begins with each of us as individuals and supporting each other in our most fundamental relationships. And that’s the motivation for the Conscious Couples Workshop JoAnn and I will be leading in Pittsburgh, PA October 26th -28th.

In a Nutshell

Here’s the premise.  I’ll break it down twitter-style, and then provide the meat.

  1. You were born happy, trusting, fully connected to the world.  #love
  2. You were hungry and didn’t get fed right away. #fear
  3. You cried and got served and started to think of yourself as the center of everything. #i
  4. Other damage occurred and you reinforced your separateness. #defense
  5. You attracted the perfect partner who would force you to overcome your brokenness. #helpmate
  6. Unfortunately, that included reactivating old wounds. #sink-or-swim
  7. Even if you were lucky, there’s work to do. #settle-or-thrive
  8. Join us. #conscious-couples-oct-26-28

The Full Monte                      

Childhood – The Silent Killer

We’re born into this world happy, trusting, connected to the “all.” We love and are loved. Then things happen, traumatic, primal things, typically in the first four years of our lives, which leave us scared, scarred, defensive, angry, sad and humiliated.

Because of early developments when you didn’t know any better, you started to think of yourself as the center of everything. For example, if your pet died or your parents divorced, at least a part of you believed it was because of you.

Our solution is automatic. We dislike ourselves and unconsciously project that dislike onto others, often those dearest to us. We develop defenses. The healthy ego devolves into what we call the eigo, with a compulsive, almost pathological self-centeredness. This includes our identity – how we define ourselves. Any threat to our identity occurs as a threat to our very being. Our survival seems to depend on protecting ourselves.

We do this unconsciously. We are compelled to be right and win for the cheap emotional lift it provides us, but more importantly, we are overly afraid to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, wrong or to lose. We justify our behavior, no matter how bad. We’ll do for others, as long as we think we’ll get something out of it. And worst of all, we’ll withhold love and forgiveness from those around us (and ourselves!), the withholding of which occurs like a cancer to our soul that slowly takes us over.  The result is fear, isolation, loneliness, anger, separation, distrust and resentment. We develop narratives about how we’re the victim, it wasn’t our fault, no one understands us, and the more we repeat these stories to ourselves, the more we believe them.

Ultimately this leaves us in no condition for meaningful relationships.

This is the course that most of us take, because it’s the automatic social and psychological response to the world into which we were born.

Fortunately, there is a way out.

In fact, the way in is the way out. Because you have to actually confront your brokenness, pettiness, selfishness, defensiveness and so on, if you want to transform it.

Consciousness – the Penicillin of the Soul

The solution starts with a commitment (you can declare it right now!) to raise your level of consciousness. Once you have that commitment, there are actions to take. Some are easy. For example, often just one conscious breath can diffuse a tense situation. For others, you may be best served by having a teacher, guide, support system. Actions include getting out of the “Right/Wrong” game and actively looking to appreciate and validate others; identifying all the upsets you’re carrying around and making a list of the people you need to forgive or request forgiveness from, and then doing it; practicing gratitude; being unselfish; expressing your love; and so on.

The Power of Conscious Relationships

So, what does all this have to do with relationships?

“I love you because you suffer.  I want you to love me because you know I suffer.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh -

We believe that the purpose of relationships is to provide a space for each partner to raise their consciousness, ease their suffering and find peace.

It may seem ironic that we often attract the very person that reactivates our pathology. For example, in many ways JoAnn resembles my stepmother, a woman who was horrible to me in my formative years. Now, I could have found a woman who had none of those qualities, but then I never would have had to confront my past, identify my defenses, and heal my wounds. Because JoAnn and I trigger each other’s pathologies, we’re forced to do the work. We went from fighting viciously every week for four years to rarely fighting and truly and deeply reveling in each other’s presence.

Not that we don’t have a lot more work to do.  Consciousness is a lifelong commitment. One is always increasing her consciousness, or by default, devolving. There is no idle.

This is the basis of the Conscious Couples Workshop. We’ll not only be leading it, we’ll be in it with you.

A New Earth

Gandhi said “The future depends on what we do in the present.” Mother Theresa said, “We can do no great things, just small things with great love.” This is our small gift to the planet.  We hope, either in October or at one of our future courses, you’ll accept it.

William Weil is the author of New Earth Relationships: A Guide for Couples in the 21st Century and the creator of LovePong.com, one of the most effective online tools for couples. A former Landmark Forum Seminar Leader, Bill performs couples coaching and leads communication workshops for small to large organizations.

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